Our Annual "Love a Girlscout" Day

4 Days and 9 boxes later... Kudos to you beautiful young ladies for securing your future badges by selling mass-produced cookies the old fashioned way, door to door... or in my case, cubicle to cubicle.  Now, if only my assistant would leave for 5 minutes, because my own boxes are gone already :(

The talents we don't...

I'm not anything if I'm not slightly above average... at everything...  I've come to terms with my slightly above averageness, which I will refer to as a complex knows as SAAness.  For instance, since I have discovered "blogging," which apparently has been around for a while, I have stumbled onto others "blogs."  One of my new favorites is the World Renowned "Hyperbole and a Half" (("CLICK HERE NOW")), which catalogs a clever and very human young lady and her goal to achieve one very simple thing, to win at internet.  Like most things in this world, her best stories are told through cartoons.  So I think to myself, "hey, self..." (for those of you who don't know me, I address both sides of my conversation in third person, and generally verbally, preferably louder than a mumble, because frankly, only crazy people mumble to themselves, right?!  Anyway, "hey self, that's a good idea, you should incorporate some of that into your own writings, you are at least SAA when it comes to drawing.  So in a desperate attempt to come up with a story regarding our oldest dog, who tends to be a bit pushy, demanding, for lack of a better phrase, bitchy, the best I can seem to muster is this.

I think you can clearly decipher the point... but still.

Another example would be something I used to cherish in the confines of my own bedroom.  I have been playing guitar for over 10 years, but once I realized I had a few chords down I decided to venture into the world of "EVERY FREAKIN' PERSON IN AMERICA PLAYS GUITAR NOW-A-DAYS," and for pete's sake I cannot name a single person whom I know that plays guitar worse than I do.  Sure, I'm good enough, especially when playing around people who do not play guitar, but put me in a room with some buddies, and I'm a sand-bagger.  I can't even move my hand as quickly as they do when I'm not touching the strings, and then the pick accidentally pings one, flips out of my hands and lands in someone's cleavage... which is even worse when it's only the guys and the closest thing to cleavage is sitting in a chair in front of me and his shirt isn't quite long enough in the back... He usually keeps the picks. 


I'm the slowest on my motorcycle when we go trail riding, but not to the point where they have to wait for me, just always in the back.  When I log into a video game, Guild Wars, CS:Source, Far Cry or Starcraft 2, I'm usually the "nuub" in PvP.  Half my bonsai die, my Christmas tree leans a degree or two off, but it's noticeable enough to me... I was always the "co"-captain, the 3rd best pitcher on the team, and the 6th man in basketball.  I always wondered why Jack is good at this or Steven's good at that.  Like my dad used to always say, "why can't you just pick something you're great at and be great at it?"  But now, I think I see my SAAness as a gift, not a curse.

Now there are two types of brains out there.  I am not a self-proclaimed "high functioning brain" person.  I will never write the great-American novel or song that touches everyone's heart, make the perfect investment decisions that net vast fortunes, ski or climb the highest mountains or dive the deepest waters.  That's just not me.  What I will be able to do is guarantee a C+ to B- average in anything, new or old, I ever put on my plate, no matter how many things I add or subtract from my daily routine... and I have come to appreciate that.  For instance...

As opposed to someone on the other side of the coin, the concert pianist, the next Picasso, or Socrates.

So such is the nature of life.  If it weren't for the crazies that didn't go crazy, we'd still have things like Polio, but if it weren't for people like me, we'd have never had things like beer pong.  I may not be part of the "goes down in history" crowd, but I appreciate not having the propensity towards psychosis as well. 

Our Annual LOVE A BOYSCOUT Day !!!

because today is the day they delivered the tins of Christmas popcorn I ordered MONTHS AGO.