The list. Every married man knows the list. It shows up at 4:45p on most Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday afternoons. I'm just learning the list. I've been married 7 weeks. For those of you who smirk at that last sentence, I welcome all wisdom :)
The guys (and gals) I work with call it the honeydo list. I'll save the explanation as it should be self-evident. Many of the older gentlemen in my cubicle-farm receive theirs via phone message. Even the divorced guy get's his phone call a few times a week, they share four children and feign stability and civility for their sake, the honeydo phone calls which are made out of earshot of the kids however, do not. I'm still a twenty-something, and my wife is a few years my junior so mine come via text message. A form of communication that was just slightly behind my time and I've yet to fully appreciate its "benefits."
From her perspective, texting is a great way to stay in constant contact. Something I love dearly about my wife. Everyone else unfortunately can go away. My mother recently discovered text messaging. The week she did was a long week for me as she also discovered Facebook. Previously I was able to avoid texting people because they all knew I didn't do it. Now they know I do because they've seen me sharing informal sweet-nothings occasionally with my dear K. Now instead of simply having a phone that can interrupt me at any point in time, it also allows the lazy to scrawl a brief message across my life without any real show of effort. And I diligently hop-to, in hopes that perhaps it is an informal sweet-nothing sent back my direction... often it is not. Sometimes it is simply, "pick up Gala apples at the store."
The honeydo list can invoke a series of emotions depending on location, quantity of items to be acquired, and particular vehicle I've chosen to take to work on any given day. There is actually a matrix... For instance...
1. I rode my motorcycle to work
+ 2. it is a beautiful day outside
+ 3. minimal luggage to be returned
= as far as I'm concerned, I just snuck a ride in after work.
or
1. I took the truck to work
+ 2. she needs something from Home Depot
= as far as I'm concerned, I have an excuse to gather stuff for the next "project"
However, the flip side of course is... picture scenario one, except it's begun to rain, or she has a dozen things that need picking up at multiple stores... or frankly, any other aspect of the matrix can be positive or negative, but if Walmart is involved, it is a trump card that cancels any underlying positive lining and guarantee's personal frustration. It's inevitable, everyone shops at Walmart. And they're all there when I am.
But like a good soldier, inevitably I ride into the parking lot in pouring rain needing to pick up closet shelving that weighs fifty pounds and secure it to the bike with no tie downs behind the vegetable oil diesel F-150 with a camper on back and a black cloud of smoke billowing in my face staring at an "I Love My Wife" bumpersticker and I think to myself, "I do."
